TALKING TRASH: Dating A Younger Man

COUGAR!

"Really! Carlos! How dare you use the C-word!"

Well, let's call out the elephant in the room and acknowledge that there's a weird stigma attached to women dating a younger man. Yes, there's a double standard here - because when a man does it, we feel that it's more acceptable.

On the prowl...

Why is this?

Part of it is something that is a throwback to our roots as hunter-gatherers. And that primal attraction stuff holds true in different ways today.

The reasoning goes like this: When a man is older, he typically has established himself. Therefore he's a better bet to mate with since he can support you and a family.

And since men are fertile for as long as they care to keep boinking, he doesn't have the same limitations on baby-making.

So dating older dudes is just ... more widely accepted.

A younger guy, however, breaks this paradigm.

Why would a woman want a younger man that doesn't have resources and a solid foundation?

Well there are a bunch of pros and cons to this. Let's look at them and make catty remarks...

Dating A Younger Man - PRO: He's a wild monkey...

You've probably heard me refer to "wild monkey love" before. Let's be honest, a younger guy is going to have the ability for a few "repeat" performances.

Bad timing.

He's also going to be a better on-demand performer, generally speaking.

Guys reach their sexual peak performance in their late teens and early 20s. He'll have more energy and want to do more things.

Women reach their sexual peak in their 30s and 40s.

Who plays this kind of cruel joke on the genders? Seriously.

So you can see how a woman in her prime might want to dip into the hot springs to find herself a nice wild monkey lover.

Dating A Younger Man - CON: He's a wild monkey - with a FAST banana...

Yeah, we know the jokes, but they're also kind of true. Younger guys lack the finesse and fine skills in the bedroom that an older man has.

And chances are, he's got a "fast banana." Which means he's less likely to keep the grinding going as long as you'd like.

Too quick!

Older guys (and here's where I'm going to tell you this from authority and experience) have a much finer touch in the sack. We don't need to rush to the finish line anymore, we can jog along beside you. We're more likely to spend more time 'peeling that banana.'

Had enough of my banana metaphor yet?

Yeah, me too.

Dating A Younger Man - PRO: He's got an Indiana Jones hat...

Look, the dates are going to be more adventurous with a younger guy. He's got that seeking nature - looking for cool, new, interesting things to do.

He's fun and adventurous! But...

He'll do that creative romancing that you want so badly. He'll bring out that more youthful side of you, which feels great.

AND you're going to be more likely to fall for this young buck.

Dating A Younger Man - CON: He's got an itch... and no salve

Look, the reality is that you're going to have to work harder to keep a younger guy's interest going. Young guys were biologically built to ... ahem ... spread their seed.

No matter how many clever authors you read that reassure you that men are monogamous (we can be), we still have the desire for many lovers. And if he hasn't "sown his oats" - i.e., gotten a lot of healthy sexual experience - he could be very tough for you to hold on to.

Dating A Younger Man - PRO: He's got a backpack instead of a suitcase...

Yeah, it goes without saying that younger guys have much less baggage than your average 35 year old divorced dad. He's not had a lot of relationship scarring to deal with.

He'll be more open, and have fewer preconceived ideas of how things should be in your relationship.

Dating A Younger Man - CON: He's got no experience...

Yeah, everything you hate about guys who spend too much time in front of a video game is also probably here, too.

Such as a complete lack of relationship skills. Like how to communicate with you, how to resolve conflicts and arguments...

Poor life skills = Poor relationship skills

He's just not going to have very good skills, which means you need him to be flexible and really patient to pick up relationship skills you take for granted.

Wait, I've got a couple more to really hammer this home:

Dating A Younger Man - CON: He's not ready for the baby maker...

The other reason that older men are more appealing to women is that they don't look to make a family until later in their lives. You've got a biological clock that really gets loud when you turn 30. You know that there are a limited number of "safe" years to start the baby maker.

Not ready...

He might not even have the slightest urge to deal with all that at this stage of his young, adventurous life.

Sorry - one more CON for you -

Dating A Younger Man - CON: He's got no reason to put the car in park...

For younger guys, there's always another girl around the corner (at least, in his wishful thinking.) So why should he put up with much in the relationship if he can just trade it in for a new one?

He's going to have more of a "lease" mentality than a "buy to own."

Yeah, that means he's not likely going to be a great candidate for complete commitment to you.

He's not going to be very marriage-minded. He might not be ready for the pressures of family life yet. So you need to keep that in mind when you're fishing in this pond.

So are you depressed yet? Or are you excited?

I can understand if it doesn't sound like the ideal relationship.

Why would he want to slow down...?

Now, if we're only talking about a difference of, say, 5 years or so - that might not be a big deal for you to worry about. Guys in their early 30s or later are not as wild as the younger crowd.

If we're talking about a guy in his 20s or so (you nasty little cougar, you!) he's going to have a lot more of the CONS I've discussed here.

So it's really all about life stages. You have to be able to read a guy and know where he's coming from.

Where is he in his life?

What is his focus?

What's his personality?

And probably most important:

What's his Connection Code?

His connection code tells you what kid of man he is. Because not all men connect to women the same way.

I found a method for you to figure out a man's connection code - and this is 100 times more reliable than any other method of understanding a man. (Sorry, but "Taurus Man" isn't going to tell you diddly about how to make him yours.)