I know I’ve been burned myself before, and I’m aware of the effect it can have on a person’s mindset.
For instance, I’ve noticed how a lot of women who’ve had bad experiences tend to paint men in broad strokes.
And assuming the worst in other people can really ruin your chances of having a healthy, functional relationship with them.
I have to admit, it’s kind of tiresome to run into the same tropes that don’t really represent all guys. Although it’s true that some jerks are out there, I’m not sure how I feel when I hear women trashing men as a whole.
Here are a few examples:
“God, why can’t guys just open up about their feelings like women do? I mean, is talking about your day going to kill you?”
“I don’t get why men avoid emotions like the plague. As if acknowledging their feelings is going to make them panty-waisted wussies or something!”
“Men are simply NOT programmed to be monogamous. All they want is a little tussle between the sheets…and then they’re high-tailing it outta there like their life depended on it!”
Things That You Resist, Persist!
The more you hold on to these beliefs about ALL men, the harder it will be to find a guy who’s right for you.
You can’t go expecting a guy to act like a woman (i.e. being more communicative, emotionally attuned), or assume that they’re all “players.”
This will only pile on a bunch of expectations even before your relationship can gain any traction. It leads a lot of women to try changing their guy; and predictably, he’s going to push back like a rebellious teenager.
Instead of keeping on this path, why not accept that men and women are going to be polar opposites on some level?
Don’t look for those feminine traits in a guy – that’s where your girlfriends come in.
They’re meant to compliment your companionship needs in a certain way; a guy should have a different role in your life.
Acceptance is Key
So the best thing to do is take a guy for all his unique qualities. Learn to appreciate his little quirks that make him an INDIVIDUAL.
Please note that I’m not asking you to settle for a guy if you feel deep down that he isn’t right for you.
All I’m saying is that if you happen to have someone in your life that makes you feel great, try not to look at him through any “mental filters” (e.g. stereotypes, expectations, wishing for him to be someone “better”).
Remember, the worst relationships are the ones where couples turn into mirror images of each other.
(Or worse, one where a woman turns her guy into her pet project, trying to mold him into the “perfect guy.”)
You’re supposed to be different people who fill in your respective “cracks”, much like two separate halves complimenting one another as a whole.
The more you fight against that, the harder it will be to recognize a man for who he is – and what he can bring into your life.
Speaking of which, getting a man to stay in your life is as simple as learning his Connection Style. I’ve developed a course that makes it dead simple for any woman to learn this valuable relationship skill.
When it comes to a relationship, there are signs you are smothering him. And like it or not, one of the things in life a girlfriend doesn't want to do is smother her partner. There are lots of reasons for this coming up in a relationship. But the most important advice for you to know […]
When you're looking for a life partner, the first question you need to ask is how compatible are we? Compatibility in a relationship will help you understand if you're right for each other. Yes, you can take a quiz to find out more about your compatibility. (I'll point you to my compatibility quiz in just […]
For most women, the first time you kiss a guy is important, because it's the first intimate contact you have with him. Let's talk about how to kiss a guy - and how to make him crazy for you when you do! Let's get real here - you're probably not a beginner. But you do […]
It's tricky enough talking to people in person, but what if you want to start a conversation on dating apps? How do you do it? After all there are a crazy number of apps out there for your phone, and even websites for those of you dating on your computer. Online dating is a huge […]
It can be tricky to admit you're wrong. BUT if you made a mistake, you need to know how to apologize to your boyfriend (or your husband). It's an essential skill for any woman that finds herself needing to make amends. After all, anyone can make a mistake or act out of impulse and say the […]
It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]
What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]
If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]
Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]
So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]