Have you ever worried about him getting bored? Would you like to know how to stop him from losing interest in you in your relationship?
Stay with me here and I'll explain how this works with men. How to stop him from becoming bored with you.
Here’s a typical dilemma that a lot of women face: When they’re out with their friends and family, most girls are fun to be with and never run out of stuff to talk about.
When they’re with an attractive guy however, they turn into this sheepish version of themselves, unable to get any decent chit-chat going.
What happened to that funny, interesting woman?
Well, triggering attraction during a conversation isn’t really taught to us growing up. It’s just one of those social abilities that we develop along the way.
Fortunately, I’m here to give you the inside track on guys and how to communicate with them.
Let’s go over some vital tips to make you better at conversations.
Make Him Feel At Ease
The first thing you need to learn about guys is that they communicate differently from women. I noticed that women gravitate towards topics that are rich in emotional detail.
For the most part, they’re interested in highlighting stories with how they felt along the way.
For example, you might describe getting a flat tire as the time when you got “really upset” because you were already running late. But then, you ended up “feeling like a million bucks” after you changed the tire and still had time to spare.
If the same thing happened to a guy, he’s likely to leave out what he felt.
He’d rather get into the details of how he put in the bolts even though his hands were slippery from the rain, or that it only took him a total of five minutes despite the weather.
To really connect with a guy, you need to learn how to relate to him on that level. Ask him about the details while he’s sharing his experiences, but not so much on what he might have felt.
This way, it will seem that you just "get" him even though he can’t quite explain why.
Focus on Giving, Not Taking
A lot of my clients deal with conversational anxiety, which is basically a phenomenon that winds them up so tight that they feel like snapping at any moment.
The telltale signs include quick or jerky hand gestures, talking too fast (like they want to get all the words out in one go) and above all, hogging the conversation.
That last symptom often comes from the fear of letting awkward silences creep into the conversation.
It’s like they’re compelled to fill in those gaps, making them talk and talk without giving the other person a chance to contribute to the conversation.
It’s not that they’re doing it on purpose, but they’re so anxious that they’ll jump on any chance to talk so guys won’t think they’re boring.
The best way to avoid this problem is by simply pacing yourself. If you feel the urge to go a hundred miles an hour, take note of what’s happening and scale back.
To keep the flow going, don’t forget to ask him what he does when he’s not working or what was the last good movie he saw. Give him a chance to keep up with you and make the conversation a two-sided affair.
It’s a like dancing – to keep the rhythm nice and smooth, give him a chance to reciprocate. It’s a back-and-forth exchange, so he’ll be more invested in the conversation when you throw him something he can work with.
Let’s face it: talking about yourself non-stop is a snoozefest!
It’s more flattering to a guy when you actually care about his own stories and opinions on matters that are important to him.
Make him feel like he’s the only person in the room, and he’ll find you more and more irresistible by the minute.
A Little “Self PR” Never Hurt Anyone
Ok, while I said you should let a guy talk about himself, don’t downplay the details of your life when it’s your turn.
A common fear many women have is that talking about their own lives with enthusiasm will make them look self-absorbed. Don’t fall for this.
That would only happen if you hogged the conversation, and we already took care of that.
That’s why you shouldn’t skip the interesting details of when you went snowboarding for the first time by yourself for the heck of it. Or maybe when you talked yourself out of a traffic ticket using your persuasive powers.
Learn to embrace the wonderful little details that make your personal experiences memorable. This information will give him an idea of what a fun girl you are.
I did say earlier men are more into details rather than feelings, but once he’s warmed up to you, emotions will have its place in the conversation.
You know you’re an interesting person, so you need to “market” yourself accordingly.
And that’s really what connecting with men is all about – letting them see the different sides to you. The more you project yourself as a well-rounded, balanced woman, the closer you’ll get with him.
By the way, you’ll also want to learn a guy’s Connection Style while you’re at it. Learning this simple skill on top of being a good conversationalist will accelerate your progress with men.
When it comes to a relationship, there are signs you are smothering him. And like it or not, one of the things in life a girlfriend doesn't want to do is smother her partner. There are lots of reasons for this coming up in a relationship. But the most important advice for you to know […]
When you're looking for a life partner, the first question you need to ask is how compatible are we? Compatibility in a relationship will help you understand if you're right for each other. Yes, you can take a quiz to find out more about your compatibility. (I'll point you to my compatibility quiz in just […]
For most women, the first time you kiss a guy is important, because it's the first intimate contact you have with him. Let's talk about how to kiss a guy - and how to make him crazy for you when you do! Let's get real here - you're probably not a beginner. But you do […]
It's tricky enough talking to people in person, but what if you want to start a conversation on dating apps? How do you do it? After all there are a crazy number of apps out there for your phone, and even websites for those of you dating on your computer. Online dating is a huge […]
It can be tricky to admit you're wrong. BUT if you made a mistake, you need to know how to apologize to your boyfriend (or your husband). It's an essential skill for any woman that finds herself needing to make amends. After all, anyone can make a mistake or act out of impulse and say the […]
It's probably pretty obvious but there are things you should never say to a guy. Some things are better left unsaid when all is said and done. One of the questions I ask all of my newsletter subscribers is, "What have you said to a man that you regretted?" And it's one of the most […]
What is a man thinking when he pulls away from you? Is he thinking about the relationship? Is he thinking about another woman? What exactly goes through a man's mind when he pulls away from the relationship? That's what were going to investigate here. The truth is going to surprise you. Very often a woman […]
If there's one pain that we experience that we would prefer to avoid it's a broken heart. But there is a cure for a broken heart, no matter how painful it may seem right now. But the most important thing you need to ask is, "Does my heart have to stay broken?" "Can I win […]
Let's talk about the attitudes men love about women. A lot of people get this wrong, so it's really important for you to get it right. If you do, he'll find you irresistible. If you don't, you'll struggle. Let's look into the most irresistible attitudes for women - the ones men can't resist. And probably […]
So you're texting a guy, and you're wondering how to tell if he likes you by his texts. How do you really know what he thinks about you? It's hard to NOT read into whatever words he sends to you, after all. You finally exchanged numbers with that guy. You know the cute guy you […]